He's a funny guy!

What can I say, I have funny friends...

"The Store? Isn't that for Beaumont rejects?"
Eli to Jodi, minutes after she whispered to me, "I don't like your friend."
(For non-Chicagoans, Beaumont's is a cheesy, after-hours dance club. The Store, where Jodi recommended going, is a small after-hours bar nearby. They both suck. All the bars and all the parties, they all suck. I spend half my time talking to some girl that's looking around the room for someone better she should be talking to, and I'm supposed to be excited because she's wearing a backpack.)

"I didn't think that Subliminal guy was Jewish."
Rob after watching a documentary on Israeli rap group Subliminal. The guy in question wore a fist-sized star of David around his neck, referred to himself as the Light of Zion and was seen, not once but twice, hanging Israeli flags outside of his house.

"Listen Crowley, I'm sick of you not knowing who I am. You had sex in my bed!"
"I know who you are and I never had sex in your bed."
"Yes you did!"
Farbman to Crowley at my birthday party. Crowley has trouble remembering names, and sometimes faces and past events. And yes he did.

"I figured it is a good flick to take a girl. lots of muff. s*xually explicit."
Quote from Johnny, via e-mail, completely out of context, yet speaks for itself. And yes ladies, I don't know how he's still single.